Matches

Imagine the scene. You have answered a lonely hearts ad and are meeting the girl in a pub. She's confident, sexy, made up to the nines. You feel tongue-tied and everything you say sounds naff. She doesn't mind. She thinks you're great. You begin to feel relaxed, or, at least, less terrified.

You go for a slash and a bloke comes in and starts peeing right next to you. What's worse, he TALKS. He says he wants to warn you. He says the girl is "pure poison". You want to defend her. He says she's "a ball crusher, a total psycho, a thief and obsessed with perversions". What do you do?

The concept is full of promise. The film is well-directed and beautifully shot. The performances are not stripped pine, but spruce au natural, green and fresh. Anne Marie Di Mambro's script lacks one thing. It doesn't answer the Why Factor. The twist at the end feels contrived and there seems to be no motivation, other than playing with other people's minds. Is this enough?

The thing about clever dicks is that they are still dicks.